Not-Oscars 2013: The Year’s Best Performances

(Originally published at JustinPlusSeven on January 10, 2013.)

best-performances-of-the-year-2012 You, dear reader, have the honor of reading this in the future, after the Oscar nominations have been announced.

But I am writing from this from the near past, before we know which five contenders are fighting it out in each category.

Of course, some are shoo-ins; there are only a very small handful of slots that are anybody’s guess at this point, including one in Best Supporting Actress that could really go to anybody and a bit of confusion in Best Supporting Actor as well. Best Actor and Actress, meanwhile, are mainly both six-person races that must be whittled down. Who will be sacrificed ― Bradley Cooper, John Hawkes, or Joaquin Phoenix? Emmanuelle Riva, Quvenzhane Wallis, or Marion Cotillard?

(You future readers are probably laughing at me, because instead, it was an unexpected sweep by the casts of What To Expect When You’re Expecting, Battleship, and The Odd Life of Timothy Green in all major categories.)

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The Tens: Best Of Film 2012

holy-motors-motion-captureIt’s Oscar time!

As usual, the Academy Awards are poised to make some very wrong decisions this year. So as usual, I am prematurely correcting them by releasing my Top Ten of the year.

That year is 2012, of course — real film critics release such lists at the end of December or beginning of January, but since I have numerous other obligations, you get it in late February, once I’ve had a chance to catch up with nearly all eligible films.

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The Movies That Made Me: Teen Screams

I wasn’t what you’d call a “normal” teenager — if there is such a thing. See, most teens watch a movie like I Know What You Did Last Summer eagerly awaiting the bloody kills, rooting for the bad guy to gruesomely dispatch his sinful adolescent targets.

Me? I cried when they died.

When asked how I liked the movie, only three words could escape my lips:

“They killed Buffy!”

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‘Avenge’ Of The Nerds: Joss Whedon Saves The World A Lot

Well, I finally have time to write something about The Avengers. But what to say about a movie so massive? Something everybody’s already nattering on about? A film that easily took the record for the best opening weekend of all time?

I thought maybe I wouldn’t bother, but considering that it was my most anticipated film of 2012 and its colossal gross is likely to be the year’s biggest (though The Dark Knight Rises may put a pin in that), it seemed silly not to say something. So here it is.

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Five By Five: The Best Of ‘Buffy’ (Part Five)

I remember when I first learned that Buffy The Vampire Slayer was now a TV show. My mom said I might be interested in watching it, and I thought: “Why would anyone watch a show based on that mediocre Kristy Swanson movie? Especially five years later?”

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Whose ‘Woods’ These Are, I Think I Know…

First, let’s just get this out of the way — SPOILER WARNING!!

(As a rule, I don’t care much about spoilers. I think it’s a misnomer. Does knowing what happens really “spoil” or ruin a movie? I don’t think so. I enjoy things just as much if I already know the ending as if I don’t. But there are some things I prefer to go into reasonably blind, The Cabin In The Woods being one of them. So consider yourself warned. It’s impossible to say much about this movie without giving away a few things, though I will still attempt to be vague enough to not totally spell it all out — though I’m not convinced that would make this particular movie any less enjoyable.)

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Five By Five: The Best Of ‘Buffy’ (Part Four)

It’s no secret that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my favorite television show of all time. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s the best.

I admire many other shows. Certainly some are more consistent — Buffy has had a few pretty dismal installments, let’s be honest. Invisible fight scene? Inebriated cave-Buffy? No thank you!

But like sex and pizza, even bad Buffy is better than no Buffy at all — better than 98% of everything else that has ever been on television. When she is good, she is very, very good. And “When She Was Bad” is one of the episodes that comprises my “Best Of Buffy.”

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Five By Five: The Best Of ‘Buffy’ (Part Three)

It’s no secret that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my favorite television show of all time. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s the best.

I admire many other shows. Certainly some are more consistent — Buffy has had a few pretty dismal installments, let’s be honest. Invisible fight scene? Drunk cave-Buffy? No thank you!

But like sex and pizza, even bad Buffy is better than no Buffy at all — better than 98% of everything else that has ever been on television. When she is good, she is very, very good. And “When She Was Bad” is one of the episodes that comprises my “Best Of Buffy.”

Continue reading

Five By Five: The Best Of ‘Buffy’ (Part Two)

It’s no secret that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my favorite television show of all time. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s the best.

I admire many other shows. Certainly some are more consistent — Buffy has had a few pretty dismal installments, let’s be honest. Invisible fight scene? Drunk cave-Buffy? No thank you!

But like sex and pizza, even bad Buffy is better than no Buffy at all — better than 98% of everything else that has ever been on television. When she is good, she is very, very good. And “When She Was Bad” is one of the episodes that comprises my “Best Of Buffy.”

Continue reading

Five By Five: The Best Of ‘Buffy’ (Part One)

It’s no secret that Buffy The Vampire Slayer is my favorite television show of all time. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s the best.

I admire many other shows. Certainly some are more consistent — Buffy has had a few pretty dismal installments, let’s be honest. Invisible fight scene? Drunk cave-Buffy? No thank you!

But like sex and pizza, even bad Buffy is better than no Buffy at all — better than 98% of everything else that has ever been on television. When she is good, she is very, very good. And “When She Was Bad” is one of the episodes that comprises my “Best Of Buffy.”

Continue reading